You think you had software problems!

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slow down in the performance of the flower and jewellery applications
that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL
7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,

Desperate


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Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package,
while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears
6.2.

Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications: Guilt 3.3 and
Flowers 7.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such
background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or
Beer 6.1.

Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create
SnoringLoudly.WAV files.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend
program.
These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It
could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the
program: Girlfriend
9.2, which runs in the background and
has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the
Operating System.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and can't learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance.
I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt
Scotch 4.5 combined with such applications as Boob Job 3.6D and that
old stand-by...Lingerie 6.9 (which have both been credited with
improved performance of this hardware).
Good Luck,
Tech Support
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